Your Halloween to-boo list

By Daniel Borgen, PQ Monthly
Who knows what's in Heklina's pumpkin this time around?

We all know Halloween is Queer Christmas — sans obligatory, awkward family gatherings — so dust off those costumes, scour the city for new ones, borrow one — whatever you do, GET OUT. If you’re anything like us, planning began after the last firework exploded in July. So drink (just punch, if you prefer), dress, and be merry. Here’s a smattering of our best bets for Halloween Saturday, October 27:

BLOW PONY’S “HELLA KINGS AND HEADLESS QUEENS”: They had us at Heklina. True story: the kids who run The Pony have managed a coup of sorts — they’re bringing Heklina (of Trannyshack fame) from San Francisco to celebrate Halloween’s big night in the Rose City, which means you can add “legendary performance” to the list of not-miss items on the BP agenda. As per usual, go-go dancers galore, two stories of sweet dancing and music, and one of the most diverse crowds in town. Heklina hasn’t been in Portland since the end of Miss Thing — and rumor has it, if we treat her real nice, she’ll come back for New Year’s Eve. 9pm, $5, Rotture, 315 SE Third.

WICKED AWESOME III: Party promoters should rename this one The Queer All-Stars. DJ Freddie Says Relax and Bent PDX (Katey Pants) are seriously bringing it: a slew of beloved deejays, a variety of bands and cover bands, and delectable queer performances. Take a deep breath; are you ready for this list? Deejays Roy G Biv, Mr. Charming, Freddie Says Relax, Bruce La Bruiser. Hosted by Max Voltage. Bands like Bomb Ass Pussy and Thee Zombettes — performers like Jeau Breelove, Boys + Mixtapes, Wayne Bund, Kaj-anne Pepper. OK, we’re running out of space. This is the party’s third incarnation — and if past shindigs are any indication, this one will be nothing but ridiculous fun. “But PQ, shouldn’t all this talent in one place cost, like, a hundred bucks?” Nope. Try eight. 8pm, $8, Plan B, 1305 SE Eighth.

INFERNO HALLOWEEN!: This is, of course, the longest running ladies-only Halloween bash in the city — and this year, party-goers will have a shot at winning some sweet cash: 50 bucks for the fiercest and the vampiest costumes (interpret as you will). If there’s one thing they know how to do, the ladies of Inferno know how to dance, so Halloween Saturday should be no exception. And the great thing about this party? You can get started early — meaning you get one full celebration in before you head to the next, or you’re in bed before all the amateurs begin sauntering home. Your choice. 6pm, venue TBA, $8.

BENT: A HALLOWEEN CABARET AND DANCE PARTY: Equity Foundation promises to spice things up by mixing a little cabaret singing and performing before opening up a big ole’ dance floor and hosting a costume contest with a $500 prize. Yes, you read that right. You can get tickets for the cabaret craziness and the dance party, or just the dance party. VIP tickets include a bunch of extras including food, drinks, and desserts. 6:30pm (9pm dance party), $50/$150(VIP), Leftbank Annex, 101 N Weidler.

PORTLAND EROTIC BALL: No, this isn’t a Madonna-themed bash. (“Erotic”? Get it?) But the thousands-strong Erotic Ball celebrates its 13th birthday on Halloween Saturday, and promises to bring only the very sexy, as has become customary. Not queer-only, but more than welcoming to the queer crowd. Drag goddess Sasha Scarlett will serve as your hostess for the evening. 8pm, $39/$69(VIP), Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside.