By Suzanne Deakins, GLAPN
Many years ago I was very focused on the roles of the binary genders. A marriage that was failing and loving my neighbor (a woman) was driving me to divide my mind. I kept feeling if I could understand what a woman was I would be happy.
It would take another 8 years before I began to understand and accept my individual nature. Lord knows I fought it. As I accepted myself and my androgyny, an amazing thing happened.
I fell in love for the first time with an adult.
The birth of my first child had taught me about love and the eternal flame in us all, but this was an adult love. I was filled with joy, sexual expression, and acceptance. I became attached to her in a way I never knew was possible. I felt her when we were apart, and knew her every mood. She, in turn, did the same with me. We melded in a way poets talk about. To me, she was every woman, every being that had ever existed. Out of our love an intimate friendship grew. We developed a deep caring for each other and the world of others. I learned to be a true mother.
In many ways, I gave up all sense of gender and became something different. The many roles we accept as beings no longer existed in my life. My mind twirled as a Sufi dancing, in doing so shed all the old concepts of what I needed to be for what I was. I was eternal in my expression of my art of existence. And to me, this is the true lesson of motherhood.
It does not take a womb to experience being a mother. Motherhood is about the infinite ability to accept our existence. There are no black or white states of being only life unfolding as one. Motherhood is about advocating for all life. It is about helping to birth the beauty and love we all carry. When you are a mother, you bring to life all that is. Your love of humanity is not judgmental, nor is it limited by gender or roles you might accept.
A mother has no gender, no role other than an intimate connection to all life.
To be intimate with another, be it a friend, lover, or child we must know who we are. It begins with the knowledge of self and understanding our consciousness, the experiences we have had and how they influence our life. To accept a hug, or a touch we must let go of our fear of our self and being known. The duplicity we live with all the time is; wanting to be known is a spiritual way (not religious) and our fear we will not be worthy or accepted as we are.
The story of Adam and Eve’s is the archetype about this kind of fear and shame. They hide from God their deeds and nakedness. And of course, because they hide they are thrown out of the Garden of Eden. You do not have to be religious or believe in a God to understand what this means. As young babes we are taught that there is good and bad and when we transgress we become fearful. We feel our souls, innermost being is not good and react in fear cutting our self off from the Garden or that sense of love and intimacy.
We are all mothers in the sense that we have an opportunity to give to each other the love and sense of security we need. It is simple, an acceptance of each other as good and loving beings. We exist at this moment not by accident, but by a greater sense of finding one another.
Celebrate the mother you carry within. The ability to nurture, care, and be intimate with all life. We are a great gathering of loving and carrying people who are together in the twilight waiting for the stars to shine.
Please Note: The Asian version of compassion and caring is Kaun Yin. Starting as a male figure, it now embodies the sacred female yet displays the male many time to represent the androgynous nature or the gender-free representation of love and nurture. This is the Yin and Yang.