by Aimee Genter-Gilmore, PQ Monthly
Oscar Rocket is almost 10 months old this week. It’s amazing how quickly time flies. Everybody says that, and now that I have experienced it, let me vouch for how it is absolutely true.
The big wedding is in 10 days, and with that comes the influx of family and friends from places near and far. I really look forward to spending some time with my 4-year-old niece, Lilli, who I don’t get to see as much as I want. She is very excited to come meet “Baby Rocket,” and is determined to be the one who teaches him how to walk. Lucky for her, chances are high that he’ll take a few steps while she’s in town, and I will totally let her take credit for it. Yep, chances are high for walking. He’s now learning how to stand up in the middle of a room (or, as I call it, “tripod-ing”), he’s been pushing different things around the living room, using them as walkers. \
I think this little man just might be ready.
He sure wants to walk. I can see it in his eyes. He’s an explorer. I really, really, really hope that he takes a step or two for his cousin Lilli.
But I digress. Our big gay abomination of a wedding is in 10 days. I say “abomination” because, while nothing will legally change in 10 days (we signed our domestic partnership papers a year ago), some family members still can’t stomach the idea of two women professing their love for each other in fancy clothes in front of 70 or 80 people. And to them, I express nothing but sadness. The justice-seeking part of me wishes that those who refuse to come (for religious and/or political reasons) will see all of the photos and hear all the stories and will feel avalanches of regret for missing our wedding. The wiser part of me knows that particular kind of justice rarely happens, because people who are so deeply-entrenched in their beliefs have found plenty of loopholes to make themselves feel better about their bigotry and hatred. As someone who was raised in the church, by parents of very strong faith, it always baffles me when someone chooses religion or politics over blood, but not everything in the world makes sense.
Onward and upward, though. It’s time to celebrate those who are happy for our family. And celebrate, we will. I have felt so guilty over the past few months–once the invitations went out–because I had a very long list of people I wanted to invite, but weddings are expensive, and we’re definitely not made of money. I spent all of my life trying to be as inclusive as possible… this was the first real experience I have had where I have had to exclude people. (Did I mention weddings were expensive?)
So, apologies for the random thoughts this week. There’s a lot running through my head, making it hard for me to focus. If you have a kid, give him or her a squeeze. If you have parents who accept you for who you are, let them know that you appreciate them. Thanks for reading!
Side note: Thank you to all of the parents who contacted me about being “special guests” on this blog. Once the big gay
abomination wedding is over in two weeks, I will be transitioning into the new format, so I’ll be getting in touch with those of you who are interested. (If you would like to be a “special guest,” please shoot an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.)