by Aimee Genter-Gilmore, PQ Monthly
It’s Oscar Rocket’s first Pride and he can’t wait! (Or is it, we can’t wait?)
See, I’ve been sequestered away in a codependent love cocoon ever since the Summer of Aimee*, and I really disappeared after Oscar was born, so for the first time, chances are high that one of the many women I have been on blind dates with will see me with my baby, and for some reason, that gives me a little jolt of satisfaction.
What is it about achieving “relationship goals” that makes one so smarmy and gloat-ful? I mean, I’ve been around the block enough times to know that (1) not everyone wants or even likes kids, (2) with a very high divorce rate, is being perceived as “married” really something to gloat about?, and (3) just who do I think I am, thinking someone I had an awkward meal with 4 years ago cares even one iota about my life? Yet, here I am. Ready to gloat. But that’s just one guilty pleasure I’m looking forward to this weekend.
More importantly than gloating, I’m excited for Pride because it will be the first time that I can include Oscar in a new “family tradition.” I’m all about family traditions, and like to start as many as I possibly can. My son, he may end up heterosexual, and I’m all right with that, but I feel it is my duty to teach him about “our” history, and to show him what it’s like to be a part of this “community.” Yeah, sometimes we all get a little bitchy/queeny when our blood sugar is low, but being a part of the gay community is something that I’m very proud of, and I can’t wait to introduce my son to this world.
Yeah, some judgmental Christian will probably accuse me of something horrific if I really do end up putting my 8-month-old in short-shorts, but Daniel Borgen is Oscar’s fashion role model, and I can’t take that away from him.
* The Summer of Aimee was the first summer I was single after getting out of a very dysfunctional relationship. I made it my personal quest to go on as many blind dates as I could, ending, of course, with the blind date I had with my future babymomma and soon-to-be wife. The chances are high that one of you was one of those women, which is… awkward. Feel free to call me out at the PQ booth at Pride.
A parting, random, thought: My partner and I sometimes debate what the “root” of homophobia could be. While lesbian women get a taste of the hate here and there, I see the violence and hatefulness behind the eyes of men who hate gay men and find it truly scary. Why is this so disproportionate. I think my partner put it best when she said “straight men are afraid of being treated the way that they treat women.” What do you think?