by Aimee Genter-Gilmore, PQ Monthly
My son is very lucky. He is being raised in “the bubble” (shielding us from 99.6% of the harmful hate rays burning the rest of the country), he has a community of people who love him and will continue to love him, regardless of how he turns out; and at 9 months, he continues to meet all of his developmental milestones.
This is only the beginning of our journey, however. Who knows what lies in store for us? Last week I got sucked in by some Dateline-style show about transgender children. I had never really thought about it. I mean, my partner and I had talked about what we would do if Oscar (or future other baby) started showing signs of confusion around his gender identity. It’s just a good conversation to have before you make a baby. But I never really thought about what it would be like to be a child going through confusion around your birth gender, and I really never thought about how traumatic it would be for a transgender child to go through (or fight) puberty. It was fascinating, and whatever show it was (sorry) didn’t really come to any final conclusions, which I like.
Now, I’m not going to open that whole can of worms here in this blog. This is a debate where people can get really nasty and mean without remembering that actual human beings are involved. So keep those comments to yourself, please.
Instead, I’m going to talk about my son, and how lucky he is. Lucky because if, through his life journey he discovers that he is actually a woman inside, he’s got parents who have the tools to help him on his (or her) way. Parents who praise fabulousness. Parents who understand what it’s like to stand out or be different… who have figured out tools and coping mechanisms to walk through life unabashedly proud of whomever he is.
Chances are, he’ll end up being just your average cisgender boy. That is the norm; the status quo. But we’re armed and ready for anything. And if anything, I hope that if he does end up fabulous, he finds and outlet like this: