Astroscopes: March/April 2012



“What you’re experiencing is premature enlightenment,” Tyler Durden said in “Fight Club.” For a brief, shining moment Mercury (mental processes/communication) burst forth in pioneering Aries! (March 2), then promptly began retrograding (March 12). HULK SMASH! Still, take that hot one-second flash of blueprint genius and flesh it out! Freedom of movement = sooooon!


Taurean perk: you’re easily pleased, Ferdinand the Bull. Now, though, it’s a hindrance. Powerful Pluto (death/rebirth/transformation) is harmonizing with Jupiter (luck /expansion) and Venus (love/values) in Taurus. Go deeper now. Release. Heal. Look farther. Reeeaaach! The Universe could shower you with pearls, honey, if you don’t just contentedly eat the oysters.


Your ruling planet Mercury is retrograding (March 12-April 4). Yup, again. So your new nickname: “Post-It Junkie.” It’s the only way you’ll keep straight on whether you’re a-comin’ or a-goin’. The sweet note: unearthing that manifesto you started awhile back. Or at least an old booty call’s number.


Harmony between the grounding earth signs and you gives amazing opportunities to root down and manifest. You’ll need to be confident about: 1) what’s to be released; 2) knowing and prioritizing your loves/values; 3) methods of acquisition. Bonus points: work this ish out while wearing a super hero costume. Email me pics. 😉


Hey there, chipmunk cheeks. You’re gonna have to spit some of that out, baby. Jupiter and Venus squaring your sun may turn you into a “want beast” of premenstrual proportion, feverishly driving you to get while the gettin’s good! But really, a little discernment would serve you better. Now go on, spit.


Virgos rule at figuring out what should be done and hoppin’to it! What about what you NEED? Full moon in Virgo (March 8) opposing sun in spiritual Pisces illuminated the power and necessity of turning off your head and getting in tune with your inner self. Did you? You still can. Find Waldo. 😉


No more airy “theory.” No more diplomatic gymnastics. Your ruler Venus in earthy Taurus says get out of theory-land and manifest then root what you value/desire. Sun in “me first” Aries starts opposing you March 21, pushing you to hold ground or compromise. It’s Black Gurl Neck Roll time.


Scorpio’s astrological “job”: personal transformation/helping others transform. Are you slacking on your job? Planets grouping in Aries join freedom planet Uranus, compelling you to break free. Spiritual Neptune in Pisces gently washes away the snake’s shed skin, revealing new. The “devil you know” is still the devil, honey. Rise up.


I’m a FB friends list pruner. I believe that — just like with healthy hair, shrubbery, and pubes — trimming’s important. South Node (a “been there, done that” astro point) in Gemini opposing you and Mercury (Gemini’s ruler) currently retrograding might produce a blast from your past that needs to stay exactly there. Snip.


Pluto (death/rebirth/transformation) has been tillin’ the H-E-double hockey sticks out of your soil since 2008. Breaking attachments to routine, guilt, and outmoded definitions of success hasn’t been pleasant. BUT, benevolent Jupiter harmonizing with lovey Venus and your Sun gives you fist bumps and goodies now 🙂 Good work.


Sometimes ya gotta slow to pull ahead. Your progressive ruler, Uranus, moving through proactive Aries is driving you to explore uncharted terrain. Other aspects to your sun support this. Venus and Jupiter joined in practical Taurus bait you into moving more deliberately if you want to receive blessings. Want a cookie? 😉


Sweet mermaid/man, I feel for you. Sun/Neptune/Chiron in your sign are sensitizing an already deeply sensitive person. Yummy Venus and Jupiter in sensual Taurus, even intense Pluto in earthy Capricorn, can show you that focusing your will on the practical will manifest the support you need most now.


Miss Renee (aka Tarot Chick) is an empath, tarot card reader, and spiritual astrologer of 19 years based out of NE Portland. She loves love notes so feel free to holla or schedule a tarot / astrology chart session: