Anonymous PQ readers Share Trashy Tales of Losing Their Virginities

By Anonymous for PQ Monthly

virginities

“His name was Joe. He was 21, had really cool ‘mi vida loca’ face tattoos, a long trenchcoat, and a vast knowledge of astrology. I was 13, recently expelled from all public schools, and was on my 2nd felony conviction for drug possession. We had met at a continuation high school and we had been dating for a good 2 months. Witchcraft, heavy metal, and chain smoking connected us. He lived in a trailer outside of his moms trailer. I lived in a house at the time, but it was a functioning meth lab, so we crashed his place most of the time. I wouldn’t fuck him without a condom, and as a result he dumped me. In an effort to get him back, I brought condoms over to his house and asked him to fuck me. I didn’t tell him it was my first time, and told him I had been doing this for years. The experience was so out-of-body that I can’t even tell you if I had a good time. However, I do remember that I bled everywhere afterwards. Once we realized that the sheets were stained we had a moment of truth: he saw me as scared girl, and I saw him as just another person that was paradoxically insignificant yet everything to me. We didn’t exchange words. I left his house immediately and went to my home; I never spoke to him again. This sent me on a decade-long spree of screwing men that were both terrible and disposable to me. It wasn’t until about six years ago, when I came out as a dyke, that sex became something that was interesting and not disassociative to me.”

“When I was 15 I had a friend named Tom, who was two grades ahead of me, but who had P.E. the same period. Every day I watched him changing. Despite this, or perhaps because of it, we became friends. One night while drinking forties in the elementary school near his aunt’s house, we admitted to each other that we were ‘bi.’ He said, ‘If you can reach out to another guy, then you really know how to please a girl.’ Flash forward two hours and we’re in his bedroom, his shorts around his knees and I trying to get my shampoo-lubed dick inside of him. We were not successful. And it looked so easy in the grainy GIFs downloaded through AOL! Sigh.”

“I was 14, and I was thoroughly and consciously done with childhood and everything associated with it. I went on Gay.com and met a guy named Andrew; he asked me to come over the next night. I took the bus by myself — my first solo bus ride — to his house, which was a converted garage granny unit. When I arrived, he looked different, older, than his pictures; I had claimed I was eighteen, and he nineteen, and in retrospect it was clear that we had both lied about our ages. He had no idea I was a virgin. He put on a Tori Amos album and we smoked a joint; as soon as we were done, I literally jumped him with a kiss, my first with a man; four minutes later, he slid his dick into me. He lasted precisely as long as the song ‘Cooling,’ five minutes and nine seconds, then rolled over and took a nap. The next morning, he called me a cab, then kissed me goodbye at the door, marking the last time I would ever see or speak to him. As I sat in the leather bench in the back of the cab — my first cab ride ever — I looked out the window and thought that I had done it, that it was a success. Just as I had set out to do, I had ended my childhood.”

“I lost my virginity in front of 5 people to a 14 year old named Sasha. Looking back at it I am shocked by how trashy it was. I was 17 and hung out with a group that was as menacing as my little town could provide. The group never did anything particularly ‘bad’ (the only time we almost got arrested was because Josh had a lighter in his pocket) but the promise of trouble was there. We mostly hung out in basements and watched movies. We were primarily guys with a few girls who came and went. You’d expect a group like that to be obnoxious about sex but there was a very strong asexual bias in the group. It must have been a holdover from the small town mentality. Sex wasn’t discussed, or acknowledged and I even remember regularly fast-forwarding through sex scenes. We were all pretty prudish. So when I started making out with a girl it was ‘gross’ and frowned on. We kept doing it because of hormones and eventually their disdain turned into the silent treatment. And we got a way with a lot and one night we managed to have sex under her long dress while everyone else watched a movie. Everybody sat on the same long couch and it became ‘obvious’ when she started howling. This was the breaking point for the group and we all got into a big fight afterward and the girl and I stopped seeing each other a few weeks later. I am wincing as I write because so many things were driven by hormones at that point in my life. The number of things that I needed to block out to go so far in front of so many people. Ugh. The only positive thing that came out of it was at least one of the guys was turned on by all of this and I got to make out with him about 6 months later. Privately.”

–Compiled by staff writers